After a decade the final episode of Girls Next Door was released, and the television series Playboy Mansion appeared to reveal the behind-the-scenes secrets of Hugh Hefner's Life and his three girlfriends, Madison, Kendra Wilkinson, and Bridget Marquardt. The 41-year-old Holly Madison opens up about her hilarious experience and she mentioned that she felt stuck in the toxic environment explaining on the podcast Call Her Daddy.
Madison says, I was kind of desperate. I was sleeping on somebody's couch. I just felt like I need a minute to reset my life and I felt like if I could stay at the mansion and just have a minute to kind of not worry about bills,Before moving into the mansion, Holly Madison also mentioned to the host Alex Cooper about her struggle after moving to Los Angeles. She was uncertain about what Hfner had expected from her and when to join the house, she said, I had to sleep with him first, I’m not trying to slut-shame anybody or anything, but nobody ever got asked to move in unless they had slept with him. No way.Madison continued explaining what had happened that night and she went out with Hfner with his three girlfriends. Further, she added that Hefner offered her quaaludes- hypnotic and sedative medication that he called a thigh opener.
Moreover, she didn't accept the pills to shed the impression that she is willing to sleep with him, she said she was so wasted and just kind of thrown into it, that once it was done there was something about the experience that made me feel very out of control.
Despite her negative experiences she still sticks to the plan of joining the mansion I felt like I was just internalizing all of this shame and I felt like by sticking it out I was fighting for myself and fighting to get something out of this experience, I guess, she added further, Living at the mansion was something I thought would just be a super fun crazy experience in my twenties that I'd look back on. I knew it wasn't gonna be conventional and I was excited about it and I wanted to stay and get that full experience. ...Everything about the experience was completely different.
Holly Madison revealed how she became the main girlfriend of Hefner, giving up all privacy and living in his room. During then disconnectedness from the outside world led her to have pretty heavy suicidal ideations. Despite of discomfort in her life she still stayed in the Mansion until she turned 29 and tried to get pregnant with Hefner. She said, I feel like it was a very Stockholm syndrome type of thing, I just couldn't imagine a life outside of there. I thought, OK, this is my last stop. I want to have kids, I'm gonna try. And then when I knew that wasn't going to be a possibility with him, like we'd tried in vitro and everything, it didn't work, I was like, OK, well if I'm not going to have kids here, that's something I need to think about. This is really like a death sentence in a way.